Uh, like socialism, like sucks

In December 1773, enraged Boston colonists boarded ships bound for England and tossed their contents, mostly tea, into the city's bustling harbor. It became known as the Boston Tea Party. Men rowed around in boats, using their oars to bat the floating tea leaves under the water's surface. "That'll teach them Brits to conduct opportunistic trading practices!" the Bostonians probably thought, if not yelled at the pretentiously dressed colonial administrators and tax collectors who were foolishly mulling about the docks. And were one of these unfortunate fools spotted among the herd, they would have been tarred and feathered, made the laughing stock of the entire pantyhosed, buckle-shoed and awkward hatted throng. The angry Bostonians couldn't accept the British government's Tea Act of 1773, which allowed the struggling British East India Company to undercut merchants from the ballooning empire's many colonial offshoots. The American merchants said "fucketh thou!" and made plans for their own opportunistic self-serving trading practices. The event was just one of many leading up to the War of Independence, after which time American tea merchants could nurture their own culture of unjust undercutting competition in solitude.

But of course, this remote tale of past absurdities has little bearing on those of us living today, right? Trick question! Apparently, in the minds of uncountable history nuts, the Boston Tea Party of 1773 remains a vital reference for their own visceral experience of theft and injustice. Thus, last Wednesday "Tea Party" protests were held across America to protest Obama's "bankrupt liberal (dare we admit socialist?) agenda." According to the brain child of the momentous occasion, CNBC's Rick Santelli, it's about "rewarding people who can carry the water, instead of just drinking the water." Ah yes, a great thinker of our age has pinned down the slippery essence of the issue: The industrious few carry the load for the lazy many. It's a few John Galts and the rest of us! So Obama's stimulus package and pending budget is really a Trojan horse, it hides an easy ride for the lazy, probably liberal, masses, while the conservative, probably libertarian, few pull at the rope with all their might. Alas, even their children, and children's children, and children's children's children have been conscripted. The government's reach extends even into the pockets of unborn generations, as one of our day's more trite cliches tells us.

An interesting gallery of images is available through Huffington Post. There a curious time waster such as myself, might idly scan dozens of images at various tea party events around the country. Some of the stand out placards equate Obama with Hitler, calls for impeachment, and eulogies for the dying creature that was the USA. One aspect of the gatherings that impressed me most was the number of kids and small children out to protest. If you've ever wondered just what toddlers get up to during day care, you'll find your answer: Political science. These kids just can't get enough political history and theory. They're obsessed with contextualizing present events using the long-reaching roots of history. Easy answers and slogan thinking are rejected by them, only the most patiently reasoned lines of argument attract their eager young minds. So when they made the calculations, children across the country determined that the Obama's administration's current policy line is sure folly! Their consciences compelled them to fashion out of simple materials advertisements by which they could give voice to their piqued moral compasses. And the children wonder: "Why is the president destroying our country mommy?" And the Tea Party protester answers her: "But dear, Obama is a leftist socialist communist Nazi Muslim freedom hater, don't you see?" I can imagine feeling the breeze as angels of stupidity excitedly flap above their heads. Sorry, I meant angels of freedom.