Happy Bloomsday, Everybody!

Quarks, ahoy!
Everyone knows that today is Bloomsday. Yes, June 16th is of course the day that went down in infamy as the date in which James Joyce's epic post-modern novel 'Ulysses' is set. Many a great, albeit fictional, adventure occurred on this day in 1904. Of course, it took years for 'Ulysses' to catch on and it befuddled most critics of the early twentieth century. But it is now a classic considered by many, not only myself, as the greatest novel ever written.

But what of it's mysterious author? Why should such a date stick around in his bespectacled head? Well, allow me to enlighten you.

You see, 'Ulysees' was published in between 1918 and 1922. He set the story at a time in his life which was fairly nostalgic for him, the year of 1904. Joyce himself had been having many a trouble with women, which was not uncommon in that era for young men in Ireland. Earlier he had sought out attention from Dublin's many prostitutes and had never up until this point, had any kind of a stable relationship with a woman. We know this because of several private letters which Joyce's progeny have published. Mind you, they didn't publish all of them because according to his offspring, it was deemed "...far too lewd, and perhaps damaging to his great esteem." However, one of the letters published reminisced of the date of June 16th, 1904. It was the day that he stepped out on the first date with his future wife, Nora Barnacle. They took a walk through the streets of Dublin that afternoon, filled with glee and joy at having met one another. But Jimmy, a dirty old sod, wanted to get it on with Nora and she being a good catholic soldier said no. Joyce was miffed, and the two modern souls came to a compromise. Nora merely gave James a well-rounded handjob. So perfect was this moment in Joyce's life that in the letter he states that she accomplished such a deed with "...the eyes of a saint."

There you have it. In Dublin today, there are parades, festivals, theatrical extravaganzas, and games for the kids. How little do they know, that what they are celebrating is a wonderful joke on James' part; that of the most famous handjob in literary history.