Cover those up.

I have recently been ruminating on what designates 'Private Parts' and what is 'obscene.' At least in this wonderfully liberal society of North America we have about five specific 'private parts.' These can be unanimously agreed upon as: the anus, the vulva, the scrotum, the breasts (females only) and the penis. Not every human has all these 'privates' as we are aware. Each of our sexes has the pleasure of having an anus. We also both have breasts , in some odd sort of way only a females breasts can be classified as being 'private.' A man's breasts are clean and wonderful and hairily spectacular.

So, a woman has to cover her breasts up, obviously. But then again, when we take a closer look, we may notice that the breasts themselves are composed of at least two specific parts. There's the mushy, soft flesh tissue and there's also a part of the breast that kind of sticks out and is usually a different colour than flesh; it's usually darker. This is the nipple, this is actually the naughty bit of the 'private' part of the breast.

Allow me to explain. In olden days, a woman's breasts were all naughty. Every last bit of it. In fact, at one time here in North America, a woman's skin besides her face and hands were 'private parts.' But I digress, women usually kept all of their breasts concealed from our sensitive eyes. And then something happened. Something unusual. Perhaps there was a sort of consciousness change within all of us. Women began to show more and more of their breasts. There was cleavage. This would be the fleshy part of the breast when two breasts meet at the center of the chest. We could all agree that, yes; this certainly was part of the breast. But being liberal North Americans, we didn't seem to mind. This cleavage continued for a great many decades. It's primary use was bait for ensnaring men for a mate, or just an evening of fun. Eventually, a style of swimwear- the bikini - was given a bit of modification from the beaches of Florida. These garments pretty much showed all of the breast except for the dreaded nipple. Sure, the outfit was provocative and perhaps teetering on the edge of 'obscene.' With a progressive attitude, we put our foot down and declared, "The breast is a private part! You can show bits of it if you want, but you may not show that nipple!' There was celebration and jubilation between the sexes.

But where will this end? There have been rumblings among the men. I too share this sentiment. 'Hey, if they are allowed to show that, why can't I show this?' It has been commonly known that all parts of both the scrotum and the penis are naughty 'private parts.' Could this change, can liberal North America challenge the norm in any way? I have noticed that the penis too has it's specific parts. There is the tube-like wrinkly bits called the shaft. There is also some more wrinkly hood-like bits called the foreskin (which some men don't have) and of course the dreaded head. The head of the penis could be unanimously agreed upon as being the nipple of the penis.

Is it time for us as a liberal society to allow for men to show a bit of the penis? If the head is covered, could the shaft be exposed for the same purpose as the fleshy soft part of the breast, the purpose of ensnaring a mate? May there be some kind of garment that could show off this obscene 'private part' of a man that we could all again collectively agree as being provocative yet still tasteful? Somehow, I think we may soon find out.

Happy April Fools.