football is retarded, as is my "opinion"

Hi, this is simply a short post to express my scorn and smirking indifference to the spectacle of the 2010 football world cup. See, I'm worldly enough to call it what it is... a world cup, but simple enough to admit my heavy shrug, my profound yawn, yes it's profound because the oxygen will not enter my lunges without earnest and well-funded coaxing. Yeah, young men showcasing their thighs whilst chasing an inflated ball sort of sucks sucks in way that is difficult to express without money. Luckily, money is a large part what makes young men chasing and kicking balls so meaningful to so many non-thinking human beings. Maybe this team will win, or perhaps maybe that team will win.... how exciting? Yeah, an obsession with young men sprinting around a carefully manicured field kicking an inflated toy around is the stuff of immortal legend. Wow, like, there is a super competition about who can kick the most balls into the most goals. I can't wait to see who wins because no one will forget and everyone will be talking about it forever more, just like the last world cup, which was also like very exciting and important.

Seriously, the universe is mocking us when we place our identities on the flexing thighs of unthinking young men. Is it really so exciting that a young man might kick a ball into a guarded net? Who gives a shit? No one. Seriously, let it sink in... no one at all cares about whatever young man protects and kicks a ball into a "guarded" goal. Woe betide, woe plague the many idiots, likely many corky thatchers, who assume that because they breathe and defecate that they are more important than the basic and forgettable individuals who are nothing but the extra help (this sentence is especially incoherent.) Life is great, for the worm.

I fully acknowledge the offensiveness and mean-spiritedness of this post. My many friends who love the sport, please accept my sheepish apology and know that I was a little drunk when I wrote it. What do you expect? My Irish heritage demands such things, ahem, such rants, from time to time. Enjoy the flexing thighs!