Don't think, dumb is strength*

It's been sometime since I've last written, and so much has happened since then. Where to begin? In the first place I should mention my gratitude to the marketing firm which each morning sends me an email suggesting I enlarge my manhood. I try to keep the general status of my groin area on the low down, but these uncanny sales people over come any intuitive embarrassment in discussing the genitals of others. While the sun sits low in the eastern horizon, a steaming cup of coffee in hand, I weigh the pros and cons of purchasing penile enlargement medications. Is the treatment guaranteed? Are there any side effects? Can I use my credit card? In this day and age it's heart warming to know that there are still kind folks out there wondering about how they might help the lot of a stranger.

Another fantastic occurrence happened only yesterday as I was walking a dog. Sitting on a park bench were two disheveled middle-aged males drinking liquor from the bottle, their stolen bicycles laid against the grass. I was a little nervous. Would they pester me for money? Would they harass me, assault me and steal my empty wallet? Well, I'm happy to report that all the worst-case scenarios were just figments of my imagination because no sooner had the homeless drunkards spotted the dog, then they began suggesting ways to help the poor animal cool down in the atrocious heat. "Take 'er fer a swim, like," "Get a hose and spray 'er down eh," "She needs triple the water when it's so god damn hot, ya know." I was quite surprised. In their drunken stupors, with nothing to live for but the next chance to cook their brains with booze and drugs, their empathy for this animal remained in tact. And the whole time I was in their fields of vision, not once did they mock the tiny bulge of my groin region. Or ask for money.

Of the many other things which have passed before these observant eyes of mine, what else might I share with you, dear reader? I have it! While I'm sure you're pining for news about my ongoing battle with those miniature vikings, the fruit flies, instead I thought I'd bleat a few barks about something I've been seeing in the news recently. You know how in the United States, they cherish not so much the content of ideas as their right to think and say whatever they want? The right to say whatever one wants is guaranteed by the first amendment of the constitution, whatever that means. Anyway, as Obama's government attempts to reform health care, all sorts of "town hall" meetings have been sprouting up, where people gather to heckle speakers, chant retarded slogans and predict the coming apocalypse. Their right to freely express their feebly thought out ideas, their slander and their anger isn't enough though. Obama has already gone too far, they live in a police state now, they can feel it under their abundant and curvaceous flesh, in their guts - the location of the American god.

All that wasn't enough you see. It wasn't enough to derail these meetings with references to Nazism and similar deeply uninformed commentary, now America's sons are bringing their firearms to the show! How they love the idea of "firearms" it's like an arm except that it can fire bullets! Terrific! So at these meetings, especially the ones where the president himself is in attendance, a few brave monkeys paint their incoherent signs and arm themselves, because what debate can be had without weapons present? It started with a monkey who stood outside such a meeting with a leg holster (just like Laura Croft the Tomb Raider!), now there are other monkeys who are excited by the new behavior and are mimicking the first monkey. So now all sorts of weaponry are being spotted at these meetings, including automatic weapons. It's hard for me to express the profound stupidity of the people who do this and the society which allows it. It seems pretty hopeless to me. If a man feels that he needs his gun to protect himself from something which exists only within his skull, what solutions are there?

*Title is a lyric taken from Pearl Jam's Glorified G: "Got a gun, in fact I got two, that's ok man cause I love god."