Why I don't Believe in God.

Well frankly I don't believe anything, but that's beside the point.
You see, I was reading the bible the other day. What's that? Yeah. I read the bible. It's a cracking read. I keep it in a place that is most sacred to me, the lavatory. Strangely enough, it is the only place in the world that I can be assured of some kind of spiritual movement.
Bad jokes, yes, but whatever.
Anyways. The other day I stumbled across one of those moments where god makes his/her presence known in the world. It is one of those rare instances where s/he doesn't act like a six year old and doesn't kill thousands of people. In fact, it is probably the glory of the lord at it's most blatantly obvious.

And I finally saw the truth. God just doesn't exist.

S/He did for a moment. But it wasn't a supreme being. It was flesh and blood. It was a form like you and me. It's just that Moses was duped. Either that, or we misinterpreted his deity of worship somewhere along the way.

So, I'm in the bathroom, bible in hands. And I come across this passage;

Exodus 33:17-23

17 And the LORD said unto Moses, I will do this thing also that thou hast spoken: for thou hast found grace in my sight, and I know thee by name.

18 And he said, I beseech thee, shew me thy glory.

19 And he said, I will make all my goodness pass before thee, and I will proclaim the name of the LORD before thee; and will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will shew mercy on whom I will shew mercy.

20 And he said, Thou canst not see my face: for there shall no man see me, and live.

21 And the LORD said, Behold, there is a place by me, and thou shalt stand upon a rock:

22 And it shall come to pass, while my glory passeth by, that I will put thee in a clift of the rock, and will cover thee with my hand while I pass by:

23 And I will take away mine hand, and thou shalt see my back parts: but my face shall not be seen.

Well, Moses was struck with absolute belief after this initial meeting with the presence of the lord. Personally, I can't blame him. Who wouldn't be?

Picture of the LORD.
Please don't click on this sexist representation.

There you have it. Everyone can throw out their religious texts. It would seem that the greatest prophet of all time was merely a horny bugger who wanted a show.