A Cornucopia of Savings

If the barrage of commercials aimed at early Christmas shoppers is anything to go by, the American economy, at least, is not going down without a fight. Under blue skies gleaming cars drive us towards unbelievable savings; smiling models in mittens and scarfs remind us that great deals are to be had just in time for the holidays; breathless announcers fill the airwaves urging us to hurry, for prices this good cannot last forever. Thanksgiving in the United States has long been as much about wallet opening as giving thanks, as retailers across the country traditionally use the late-November long weekend to begin their holiday-bargains blitz.

This year is no exception. Despite the mind-numbing din of doom-and-gloom economic forecasts clogging our media, the sales to be had at a New York Walmart on Black Friday (So-called after the "extreme stress and chaos" which the super deals cause) were just too good not to trample anyone in the way of the bargain racks. Apparently the "doorbusting" prices, such as $2 dollar DVDs, really did cause the doors to bust, and an employee died after the doors collapsed and savvy bargain hunters rushed in on top of him. Not even the brandishing of defibrillators could deter shoppers from achieving their goals. Fortunately, not all such tramplings ended so horribly, and one intrepid shopper who was also trampled managed to pick herself up and make her purchases before going to the hospital and filing a police report. A triumph of the human spirit!

After the great success of Black Friday, the busiest shopping day in the US, will the inevitable lull which follows spur end-time, well at least "18-month-recession," thinking to resurface yet again? Fear not brave consumer, Cyber Monday is just days away! Prepare to click and spend our way back to the robust economy of yesteryear!