Creepy People pt. II

'Really?' They reply.
Then I have to stop, as I figure out that perhaps I have gotten ahead of myself. 'Look,' I say 'Think of magic as a sort of wayward psychology; as a process of understanding your own consciousness.' Again, at this time I lose their attention. Man, I should have never mentioned sex. 'Most of our consciousness is based upon experience. What we magicians try and attempt to do is experience different things, to go into our mind and creative processes to either break things apart or put them together. Solve et Coagula as the alchemists would put it.'
'So,' somebody says to get me back on track, 'what does sex have to do with it?'
'I was getting to that,' I respond. 'There is a state of mind that everybody can achieve, a place where everything seems peaceful and open, where your mind is almost looking in at itself, trying to understand itself. I like to call this gnosis.' I can see that the word puzzles them somewhat.

'Look, this has been around forever. It's as old as the mind itself. Throughout history we have found many ways of achieving this; prayer, meditation, rituals, incantation, studying, dance, fasting, physical exertion, writing, hypnosis, and even sex.' My listeners brighten up with this. 'Unfortunately, somewhere along the way this last aspect was lost for some time, at least in the west.'
'Probably due to religion!' Some liberal will cheer.
'Yes. Probably due to religion.' I agree. 'And also the industrial revolution perhaps. Anyways, for me at least sex is one of the best ways of achieving this special mind state. But it is also the problem, and I think a major reason that people steer clear of Magik in any way.'
'How so?' Asks a listener.
'Well, we can all agree that sex is a zesty delight, a pleasurable experience. But there have been those in the past, and those alive right now that make it the entire basis around which magik hinges. And they usually are not the silent ones. They get their heads warped by the whole 'experience' part of consciousness. They can take it to an extreme. These are the creepy people.'

A silence usually follows this. 'I can give you an anecdote, if you will. A few years ago, I was working at a video store. I was the only one working at the time; and I had somehow entered into a discussion with the sole customer in the shop. We were talking about Aleister Crowley and Kenneth Grant. The man was stout, pot-bellied and had a slight lisp. At several points throughout the conversation I saw his eyes almost recoil back inside his head, as if relishing some terrible thing he had done in the past. After this happened again and again, I decided to cut the conversation short. 'Well, best be getting back to work!' At which point his hand shot out and grabbed mine. 'We really will have to talk about this, just you and I.' I reclaimed my hand quickly, regained some composure and just said, 'probably not. Have a nice day.' And he left the store.'

My crowd at this point is somewhat rightfully disgusted. I explain to them that it seems like this man totally expected me to enter into some strange sexual relationship with him, because he knew a thing or two about magik. But you see, sex and especially strange sex is just one of the many things that make magik interesting, but also give it a very negative aspect. I explain that perhaps people do not realize that sex should go along with perhaps the most powerful benefit of magik; called agape. This is a simple expression that has many sides, but can probably just be explained as love. Fantastic, forgiving and truthful love. Make it the keystone of your magical expression and things will be fine. My imaginary listeners disperse either excited or writing me off as a simple weird type of hippy.


So there it is. I seem to be a magician. If you want to know more, I can show you where to look, but the information is there and has been for some time. Look to people like Austin Osman Spare, Aleister Crowley (but tread carefully with this guy), William Blake, Carl Jung, Peter Carroll, Robert Anton Wilson, and for a thoroughly modern magician; Alan Moore.

But I will not guide you by the hand, nor touch it; creepily.

Creepy People pt. I

When I was first invited to join this blog, there were in my mind, certain things I was hesitant to write about. How much do I want to give away about myself without sounding like an absolute nut-case? Should I just write about inconsequential things? Perhaps I cannot keep silent any longer. We live in a somewhat accepting society, one in which it would take a great deal to 'put people off,' so to say. Now, as I accept that when you read the next few paragraphs I am about to write, you may feel like I am pulling your leg or just being sensational. I must assure you that I am being very earnest with my admission and that I hope you allow me the same courtesy and understanding and curiosity that you would should I be sitting across from you.

I seem to be a magician. Is that what it's even called? Hell, I don't even know. The style has been called many things. Mystic, witch, occultist, wizard, hermetic, chaos magician, sorcerer, Thelemite and weirdo. Personally, I prefer occultist or as Erasmus Herzen liked to call me 'a Rosicrucian.' Well, that's partially right, but far too specific. But for all the names, magician is the one that sticks. I do not dress in dark clothes, I wear no trinkets or jewelry besides an earring, I have no dripping candles in my room, no crystal balls or incense. I live a very normal life which I conduct in odd ways. The way I conduct it is very important and not something that I shall share; for one reason in particular. When I do so, say, at a party or something, people rush off like I've just ignited a stink-bomb.

So yes, Magician. First thing I usually get asked when I say this is, 'Well can you do tricks?,' either seriously of jokingly. I laugh (laughter is actually the most important part of being a magician, it really is) and blush a little, but answer sincerely;
'Yes, if you give me time.' This tends to confuse people because tricks usually rely on being spontaneous and the tricks that I have pulled off never, ever happen suddenly. If they did, I'd probably be a far different man than I am today. No, the tricks that I accomplish are small things that are in aid of me becoming a better and more willful person, but most importantly- Understanding the world and my role in it.

The next thing I'm asked is usually 'So what, do you believe in gods and devils and demons and that stuff.'
'No, and yes' I reply, 'I'm open to every idea, but also not at the same time.' By this time, those who have been patient suddenly leave, writing me off for being a 'crazy.' Remaining an agnostic magician is a very beautiful thing. I shall have to quote at this point the greatest magician of the last 150 years, Aleister Crowley, who put it better than anyone ever could about what to believe in, so far as magic is concerned-

"In this book it is spoken of the Sephiroth and the Paths; of Spirits and Conjurations; of Gods, Spheres, Planes, and many other things which may or may not exist. It is immaterial whether these exist or not. By doing certain things certain results will follow; students are most earnestly warned against attributing objective reality or philosophic validity to any of them."

So, yes I think there may be Gods and devils, UFOs and ghosts. I also think there may be volcanoes and buildings, horses and chairs.

My perception and understanding of things is very unconventional. I have accepted this fact. If at this point somebody should ask the question (which nobody ever has, I really wish they did), 'Hmm. That's interesting, why aren't more people magicians?'
"Well, because of several factors. For one, it actually takes time and work. You make your own world.' I'd remark.
'So, you don't follow anybody?'
'No, but you listen to certain things and people and choose your own pieces of the puzzle. It's a great deal of work.'
'How so?' They would ask quizzically.
'Well, you have to understand certain things about yourself, and build from there. Once you have done this it moves to murkier water.'
Here's where they'd lean in. 'Murkier water? Like what?'
"Well, there's ritual... Ritual and err...' I would pause.
'Yes?'
'Sex.'

End of pt. I


Oh, and Happy 200th Post, Knowing Doing!
Let's keep on Knowing, but do more Doing!